making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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