the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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