Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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