So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i dont even know how to be here
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize