Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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