Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Pants are for mortals
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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