Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
