im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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