It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
