Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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