Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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