i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
