A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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