this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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