Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
