dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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