I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's shark week go big or go home
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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