You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
