Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
