I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
