Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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