The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize