Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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