It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
