i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
