I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
