i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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