'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
