"it" just moved
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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