I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
