I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
