Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
