4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
