actually, I'm a sock model
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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