sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
