Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
