Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
