Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
