did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
