FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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