If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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