Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize