I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize