she woke up with a sticky ear
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
