I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
