I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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