I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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