Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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