I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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