My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
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fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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