I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
