Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
