I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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